It was not until 2 years after when I was in training to become an advocate to speak about the violence we had endured I learnt about preventability. Now, I can’t stop talking about it.
I really thought I had no choice. Living on a farm, isolated from family and friends, no access to money. I thought this is the end of the world as I know it. Even though I had worked with the local women’s refuge for 2 years in order to determine whether or not the situation is really that bad that I need to leave I never saw myself as a victim of family violence.
The money pressure rose and so did the abuse. He had controlled me emotionally and sexually for years and life was like constantly living on eggshells. My entire thought processes were evolved around the need to keep him happy so our children and I would be safe. I wasn’t aware of it at that time. One assault gave me the confirmation I needed to leave and I never went back. Even though the following 18 months of court hearings was incredibly exhausting I felt like I had my life back. I could breathe again. I could finally sense myself again.