[Matt speaks]
I'm Matt Tyler, I lead The Men's Project at Jesuit Social Services, where we've worked for over 40 years with men and boys. Men and boys who are often times in crisis. One of our first pieces of work was our man box research.
And one of the really key findings from that work was that men who are in the man box conform to ideas like real men have to act tough. Real men sort out problems on their own. To be a real man, you have to assert aggression and control in your relationships.
Men who conform to these man box ideas were over 20 times as likely to self-report sexually harassing a woman. Over 14 times as likely to self-report using physical violence. And they weren't doing that well themselves, either. They were over twice as likely to experience suicidal ideation. Modelling respect inequality or the more program is about preventing violence by addressing stereotypical ideas about what it means to be a man. And we're equipping a really diverse set of folks who work with men and boys every day. Educators, youth workers, social workers, role models with the skills, knowledge and confidence to engage with the men and boys they work with to address these harmful man box attitudes.
[Gary speaks]
Our core business is to try and reduce re-offending in young people, and we do that through a number of training and employment programs in prison and the community. The attraction of the program for us was the ability to get some skills and knowledge that might help us positively impact on the behaviours of the cohort of people we're dealing with. I think in terms of masculinity, everyone's got a different perception of what's positive and negative. I think getting past some of those biases, whether people know them or not, and learning a positive, proactive way of actually dealing with it was something that we were attracted to learn.
[Tao speaks]
After the more program, people feel motivated to start having these conversations, and they feel like they've probably got some more skills to have these conversations in constructive and meaningful ways.
[Lisa speaks]
The program was absolutely amazing and it really has changed my perspective on how I look at family violence and the importance of engaging boys and men as part of that discussion.
[Tao speaks]
There was nothing like this around for me when I was a young man struggling with certain aspects of my own masculinity, particularly around sort of maybe emotional stoicism and that sort of that need to be tough and confident and in control all the time.
Solving my problems with violence and that sort of thing. So maybe we can change this narrative a little bit so that if we broaden our understanding of what masculinity is, give men sort of permission and choices about the kind of men that they want to be and the character traits and attributes that they can embody. As men, we can shift away from that very limited narrative that we're dished up that can lead to things like violence.
[Lisa speaks]
Every day you hear of a woman that's a victim of violence and it's just heart wrenching. It's really important that we have these discussions and talk about things that really impact on all families in our community.
[Gary speaks]
I don't think there's ever a point where you stop learning. I think you should actively look to do it, and I think that's one of those areas that's key.
[Lisa speaks]
We need to work together to solve domestic violence.
[Matt speaks]
Ultimately, we want to see a society free from violence where women and children in particular are safe. And in order to do that, we've got to engage with men and boys so that they can live flourishing lives where they can show up as their best selves and reach their full potential.
[Tao speaks]
I do this work so that, you know, the next generation can have that, which I didn't get because happy people don't hurt people.
[End of video]
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