Information for parents considering adoption of their child

Parents considering adoption for their child usually approach an adoption service. An adoption service may be Adoption Services Victoria (part of the Department of Justice and Community Safety) or an agency funded to provide services on Adoption Services Victoria’s behalf.

Sometimes another person, for example, a hospital social worker, may make the initial enquiry and referral to the adoption service on behalf of the parents. The adoption service which will provide the counselling will then make direct contact with the parents.

Contact with the adoption service may take place before or after the child is born or when the child is older.

Contact with the adoption service is confidential.

A counsellor from the adoption service will discuss with you all the possible options for caring for your child. Written information is given, in the form of this web page or booklet, as well as the ‘Notice to parent considering placing a child for adoption’. Referrals to other agencies or services may be arranged. You will be given the time you need to consider your options.

Adoption counsellors are trained and approved by Adoption Services Victoria to provide counselling to parents considering adoption. The quality of their counselling is monitored by Adoption Services Victoria. The purpose of counselling is to assist you in making an informed decision about options for the care of your child by providing support and information, and by assisting in exploring relevant issues. The counselling process can feel challenging for some parents who would like to quickly ‘move on’, but it is important for both you and your child that the profound effects of adoption are thoroughly explored.

Your counsellor will want to obtain information from you for the child later in their life. It is considered to be in the best interests of children to know as much as possible about their parents, their extended family and heritage. Any information provided by you will be extremely valuable for the child if they are placed for adoption, as it is common and natural for everyone to want to know about their origins. Knowledge of the family medical history is also valuable for the child.

When you are thinking about adoption, your counsellor will also talk to you about the long-term impacts for both you and your child. It is important to understand that parents who give consent to the adoption of their child often experience feelings of grief and loss. These feelings are very normal and may be lifelong.

Believing that they have made the right decision for themselves and their child may assist parents with their feelings of grief. Feelings of grief and loss, and issues with identity are commonly experienced by adopted children and adults. It is important to consider the child's rights and interests as well as the interests and needs of the parent(s).

There are community support groups and counselling agencies which can help you navigate your feelings about adoption. Your counsellor will discuss these services with you.

Sometimes adoption services are approached by both parents, and at other times it is the mother only who attends for counselling. It is important that you are aware that if you intend on proceeding with adoption and the adoption counsellor is told the name or whereabouts of someone who may be the father of the child, the counsellor must, by law, attempt to make contact and tell him of the plans for adoption. If you have particular concerns about contact being made with your child’s father, it is important that you discuss these with your counsellor.

Wherever possible, both parents are involved in planning for their children. In the future, it will be important for the child to know that both parents had this opportunity.

Sometimes both parents attend counselling and sign consent and at other times only the mother is involved. The law requires that if the father of the child is known, the adoption service will try to involve him in the discussion about adoption.

The father must be informed when the mother has signed an adoption consent. He then has the opportunity to legally establish that he is the father. This will be established automatically if his name is on the birth certificate. If it has been established that he is the father, he will need to sign consent to an adoption before the child can be adopted.

In some cases, the Court may dispense with the need to notify the father. The Court may also dispense with the need for the father to sign consent in certain situations. Your counsellor can tell you about these options.

Consent is given in the presence of a Court official and the counsellor from the adoption service. This takes place at an office of the County Court. Your counsellor will explain the arrangements for giving consent and will be able to provide you with copies of the forms to be signed.

The counsellor and the Court official need to be certain that you understand the ways in which you and your child will be affected if you give consent to adoption.

You can express in writing your wishes about the religion, race and ethnic background of the adoptive parents. You can do this before or after you sign consent to adoption, but before placement with the adoptive family. The adoption service must carefully consider your wishes and try to find a suitable family for your child.

You cannot name specific people you would like to be adoptive parents for your child. You may be involved in decisions around family selection if you wish.

After signing an adoption consent you are given the opportunity to indicate your wishes in writing about:

• whether you and/or a relative want contact with the child after adoption and if so, how often
• whether you would like information about your child to be provided after the adoption and if so, how often
• whether you would like the conditions for contact and information exchange included in the adoption order.

Your wishes are carefully considered by Adoption Services Victoria when placing the child and by the Court when granting an adoption order.

More information about Contact and information exchange is available on this web page.

You may also indicate whether you wish to be told of the following events:

• the end of the period of time by which you can revoke your consent
• the placement of your child with a proposed adoptive parent or parents
• the termination of your child’s placement with a proposed adoptive parent or adoptive parents
• the Secretary is no longer the guardian of your child
• your child dies before an adoption order is made
• the Court makes an adoption order in relation to your child

Some of these events are a usual part of the adoption process, while others are very uncommon. Your counsellor will discuss these events with you and whether you wish to be notified about any of them. If you choose to be notified of any of these events, you will be notified in writing.

If you give consent to adoption, you will be given:

• a completed copy of the consent forms
• a form for revoking consent
• a form for extending the time for revoking consent.

The forms include instructions for revoking consent or extending the time in which you can revoke consent. The adoption service will give any help you need to complete these forms.

Once all necessary consents are given, the legal guardianship of the child transfers from you to the Secretary of the Department of Justice and Community Safety.

A member of staff from the adoption service will have the day-to-day responsibility for managing your child’s situation.

Choosing adoption for your child is an important and life-long decision. You are given the opportunity to change your mind within a period of twenty-eight days after the day you gave consent to adoption.

By revoking your consent your child is no longer able to be adopted.

The normal time you have in which to revoke consent is twenty-eight days. You can add up to fourteen days to the twenty-eight-day period if you are uncertain about your decision. (For example, if you add ten days you will have thirty-eight days after the day you consent to adoption in which you can revoke your consent.)

Adding another fourteen days could be helpful in clarifying your thoughts, or you may wish to revoke your consent while you think more about your decision.

Once the period for revoking consent has passed, your consent is considered effective. You are no longer the legal parent of the child.
When you give consent, certain procedures are followed, as required by law. In the same way, there are certain steps you must follow if you want to extend the time in which you can revoke your consent or if you want to revoke your consent altogether.

The steps for extending the time to revoke your consent are very formal. If you feel you may need more time to consider whether to consent to adoption, you should raise this with your counsellor, who will help you with the process.

You will need to:

• decide how many days you want to add to the twenty-eight day period. (Fourteen days is the most you can add).
• fill in the form for extending the period for revoking consent (You must use this form. You can obtain one from the adoption service.)

Do not sign it yet, as you must sign it in the presence of a witness.

The form must be witnessed by a person over the age of 18 years, and you need to follow the instructions on the form. They must witness your signature.

Hand-deliver the form or letter or post it by registered mail to:
The Registrar
County Court of Victoria
250 William Street
MELBOURNE 3000

The form must be received by the Registrar within seven days after the form is signed. You should contact the adoption service as soon as possible after you extend the time in which you can revoke consent.

You can obtain a form for revoking consent from the adoption service. However, you do not have to use this form. If you do not have a copy of the form, write a letter giving your name, address and date of birth, and your child’s name, date and place of birth, the agency involved with the adoption and the date that consent was given. You should state that you are revoking your consent to the adoption of your child.

Do not sign it yet, as you must sign it in the presence of a witness.

The form or letter must be witnessed by a person over the age of 18 years. They must witness your signature.

Hand-deliver the form or letter or post it by registered mail to:

The Registrar
County Court of Victoria
250 William Street
MELBOURNE 3000

To be effective, the form must be received by the Registrar of the County Court before the end of the period for revoking consent. If you post it by registered mail, you need to allow three to four days for delivery. You may ask your counsellor to help you with the process.

Once an adoption order is granted, the child is treated in law in every way as the child of the parents who adopt the child. Your rights and responsibilities as a parent are given to the adoptive parents.

An adoption order is permanent.

After adoption, your child is entitled to inherit from the adoptive parents as if the child was born to them. Your child may only inherit from you or your relatives if named in your will or the will of a relative.

If an adopted person has been included in the will of a natural parent or relative and their adopted name is not known, the State Trustee will make enquiries of relevant adoption agencies to find out the name of the adopted person.

After adoption the child may have new names. When an adoption order is made, the Court approves the names of the child specified in the adoption application. The surname is usually the surname of the parents applying to adopt. Adoptive parents are encouraged to keep the given name that was chosen by the natural parent(s).

If your child is an older child, the Court will take their preference into account in approving the child’s name. These matters are discussed by the adoption service before the adoption application is taken to Court.

After adoption, your child receives a new birth certificate which names the adoptive parents as the child’s parents and does not include your name.

The law allows you as a parent to have some rights after an adoption order is made. It entitles you to information about your child after the order is made. The order may also provide for you to have direct contact with your child. These arrangements are outlined in more detail in the next section.

At the time you express your wishes regarding frequency of contact and information exchange, you may also indicate whether you want your child placed with people who agree to have these wishes included in the adoption order.

It is also possible for you to have a private arrangement with the adoptive parents regarding contact and information exchange. This means that you and the adoptive parents decide about the frequency of contact and information exchange, with the assistance of the adoption service, but the agreement is not included in the adoption order.

The wishes expressed by parents around contact and information exchange will form the basis of an adoption plan, which is an agreement between the adoptive parents and the natural parents about contact and cultural needs of the child.

The adoption order may include conditions around contact and information exchange. The judge decides whether to include conditions regarding contact and information exchange on the adoption order, and the amount of contact. The Court will be guided by consideration of the best interests of the child, and that there is agreement between the parties. The order may contain conditions about contact, or information exchange, or both.

Any arrangements (whether in the adoption order or not) may be varied if you and the adoptive parents agree following granting of an adoption order.

If contact and information exchange provisions are included in the adoption order you, the adoptive parents, the child or a person acting for the child, may apply to the Court at any time after the order is made to change or cancel these provisions.

If contact and information exchange provisions are not included in the adoption order you, the adoptive parents, the child or a person acting for the child, may apply to the Court at any time after the order is made to have conditions for contact or information exchange included in the order.

However, the Court will only vary an adoption order if it is satisfied that any change is in the best interests of the child. The Court cannot grant new or additional levels of contact unless the adoptive parents agree, and the wishes of an older child have been considered. In addition, the Court must be provided with a report from an approved counsellor, before altering the adoption order.

Contact works best when all parties show goodwill and participate in information exchange and meetings.

The adoption service will arrange contact visits until the parents and adoptive parents feel comfortable about managing the arrangements themselves. The adoption service worker may attend visits.

The aim is for both families to work towards managing arrangements independently, after the adoption order is granted.

If any difficulties are experienced with contact arrangements, parents are encouraged to seek assistance from the adoption service.

Information can be exchanged through the adoption service until parents feel comfortable about exchanging contact details.

If the adoption service organises the information exchange, it is important that parties keep the adoption service informed of their current contact details.

Making and maintaining contact arrangements requires a responsible and sensitive approach by everyone involved. If you want to change the arrangements in the future, it is important that you think about the effect of the changes on all those involved.

It is expected that parents will inform each other of any change they wish to make and attempt to negotiate the proposed changes. The adoption service can assist with this.

The Adoption Act gives special rights to the parents of an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander child who are considering the adoption of their child. These rights will apply if you state in the consent form that you wish the child to be adopted within the Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander community. In that case you must receive counselling from an Aboriginal agency, unless you express a wish in writing not to do so.

The Act provides that the child should be placed if possible, with a member of the Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander community to which a parent belongs.

You may include in the consent form:

• whether or not you want contact with the child
• how often you want contact with the child
• which relatives you want to have contact with the child
• how often you want the relative to have contact with the child, and
• whether you want members of the Aboriginal community to have contact with the child.

It is important that Aboriginal children maintain their Aboriginal identity Adoption counsellors are guided by the principle that the child’s Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander cultural and spiritual identity should be protected and promoted. This includes discussing opportunities to maintain and build the child’s connections with their Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander family and community.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander organisations have an important role in supporting Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children, families and communities. Their involvement can help ensure that an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander child’s culture, identity and family connections are considered when making decisions about adoption.

If you are the parent of an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander child and considering adoption, you are encouraged to speak to your counsellor about contacting the Victorian Aboriginal Child Care Agency (VACCA), which can provide support, advice and counselling.

You may contact VACCA yourself at https://www.vacca.org/.

If you decide not to see an adoption worker from the VACCA (or another Aboriginal agency in your local area), your counsellor from the adoption service will inform VACCA that an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander child may need adoption in the future. Your privacy and confidentiality will be protected as much as possible, and your personal information will only be shared with your agreement

Family services can help if:

• you are pregnant or a new parent and need support and advice
• you are worried about the wellbeing and/or development of your child(ren)
• you need help to strengthen your parenting skills and develop positive family relationships
• your family needs help to get through stressful times, which may be caused by a range of reasons including separation, mental health, grief, drug and alcohol abuse, financial worries, illness or living with a disability
• you need extra help managing the behaviour of your child(ren)
• someone at home is making you, your children or another family member feel unsafe or afraid

Support includes:

• listening to you to understand the difficulties you’re facing
• helping you to explore your options and think about what you want to do next
• working with you to improve you and/or your family’s situation
• connecting you to services that can help, such as parenting support groups, services for children, family violence support, counselling, financial help, or legal assistance
• supporting you to access funding for basic living expenses and other costs.
• providing information and advice to professionals if you are worried about a vulnerable child in your community.

Orange Door provides a range of services to parents across Victoria. You can find a service close to you at: https://www.orangedoor.vic.gov.au/find-a-service-near-you.

The Victorian Aboriginal Child Care Agency (VACCA) is a state-wide Aboriginal Community Controlled Organisation (ACCO) and provides a range of services to Aboriginal parents. You can find a service close to you at: https://www.vacca.org/page/services/children-and-families/family-support.

National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS). The National Disability Insurance Agency (NDIA) is the independent government organisation that runs the NDIS. Partners are community-based organisations working with us to help deliver the NDIS.

If you have a child that is younger than 9 with disability, you will work with an early childhood partner. Early childhood partners are specialist local organisations who deliver our early childhood approach on behalf of the NDIS. They have experience and clinical expertise in working with young children with development delay or disability, and their families.

Early childhood partners also help families connect with other appropriate supports such as community health services, playgroups and educational settings. To find your local early childhood partner call 1800 800 110.

You can find a service close to you at: https://ndis.gov.au/contact/locations

To find out more about what payments you may be eligible for from Services Australia (Centrelink) , visit: Having a baby - Services Australia

For information regarding Housing Services in Victoria, visit Contact HousingVic | Housing.vic.gov.au

To arrange to speak to a free financial counsellor, please visit Financial Counselling - National Debt Helpline

You can also search for specialist housing or financial services close to you at: https://www.1800respect.org.au/services.

If you are in danger right now, call Triple Zero (000).

Safe Steps is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week call service for women and children who are victims of family violence. You can call Safe Steps on 1800 015 188.

Orange Door also provides a range of services to people at risk of family violence across Victoria. You can find a service close to you at: https://www.orangedoor.vic.gov.au/find-a-service-near-you

Sexual assault is a broad term that captures any sexual act or attempt to engage in a sexual act where consent is not obtained or freely and voluntarily given.

If you have experienced a recent sexual assault or need after-hours support, call the Sexual Assault Crisis Line: 1800 806 292

You can find a sexual assault service close to you at: https://www.sasvic.org.au/our-members

These might include services for contraception, abortion, pregnancy options counselling, STI testing and cervical screening.

You can use our online search to find the locations and contact details of services across Victoria. You can find a sexual and reproductive health service close to you at: https://www.1800myoptions.org.au/information/where-to-go.

Council of Single Mothers and their Children provides support, information and referrals primarily via a Telephone Support Line. They encourage callers during the operating hours of Monday to Friday 9.30am to 3.00pm.

Support Phone Line:

• Melbourne metro: 03 9654 0622
• Outside Melbourne: 1300 552 511 (Note: calls to this number from mobile phones will incur higher charges – see your mobile service plan for details)

For more information, visit the Council of Single Mothers and their Children website.

Your General Practitioner can assist you if you are struggling with your mental health, and can make a mental health plan with you. They can refer you to mental health services which may include both private and community-based services.