Secondary: I'm not a victim

Most of us want to feel we belong and be part of a friendship group.

What’s the issue?

Sometimes people who lack self-confidence can be targeted by others, and feel that they have to agree to whatever is suggested by them to maintain their place in the group. This is called ‘manipulation’. If you are often the victim of dares, pranks and jokes you are being bullied. Some of the skills we possess are very powerful and can hurt others. We need to be really clear about when and how to use our talents.

Why does it matter?

  • Computer hacking is a crime
  • Bullying by people you like and call ‘friends’ is much more hurtful and often harder for you to challenge
  • Hanging around with people who make you feel bad about yourself damages your self-esteem and confidence
  • Other people will be affected by your actions
  • Once an image or video is uploaded it is public and can be used as evidence for legal action, even long after the event.

Advice

Hang out with friends who like you for who you are, not the tricks you can perform to amuse them

  • Make choices about what you do. It should be your decision
  • Friendships change over time, your friends should be people who you enjoy being around and are comfortable with.

Be known for using your skills for 'good'

If you become known for doing illegal and risky things then people will think that’s all there is to know about you. Don’t be afraid to show that there is more to you than that.

Be prepared to say 'No'

  • Group ‘norms’ develop around what you do together and how you treat each other. These norms can change as you all get older and the membership of the group shifts over time. You don’t have to stay stuck in habits that aren’t good for you
  • Don’t be afraid to let your moral compass show you the way.

Printable advice sheet

To download a copy of this advice sheet, see:

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